Bachna Ae Haseeno

Every once in a while there comes along a movie that redefines the term “bad movie” (I’m not even including the movies that tumble out of RGV’s closet, they belong to a different league altogether!!)

'Bachna Ae Haseeno’ is one such movie.

What’s surprising is that it’s a movie by Siddharth Anand who made ‘Salaam Namaste’, which I thought was a sensible movie that tackled the concepts of live-in relationships & having a child out of wedlock – concepts that are still bold for a majority of the Indian society. The least he could’ve done was to make a half-decent movie this time around.

Mahi, 1996 – Minnisha Lamba can’t act. She can’t speak in Hindi (in reality, she’s a Punjabi from Delhi, so I wonder why she speaks Hindi like an alien). So why the hell did she become an actress??? Her character is stupid to stay the least. She plays a 17-year old touring Europe, when she meets a guy (another 17-year old), spends one day with him, falls in love with him & thinks he’s going to marry her. He doesn’t obviously, and she’s scarred for life. Literally because she makes life hell for the guy she eventually marries.

Radhika, 2002 – Bipasha Basu does well what she’s hired to do, i.e., look hot. Her character is well etched-out - girl from Ranchi who has come to try her luck in big bad Bollywood, is open to live-in relationships, seems progressive but at the core she’s a small-town girl who dreams of getting married & settling down. She does a good job of being a bitchy diva with starry tantrums, in the second half of the movie. But she’s given the most retarded scene EVER...she’s all decked up for her wedding, the groom fails to show up, she’s sitting on the stairs of the court crying when it starts pouring in true Bollywood style, and she outstretches her mehndi-laden hands as if to symbolically wash away the mehndi. Didn't we see similar stuff in the movies made in the 60s-70s when women would rub off their bindi or break their bangles against the wall when they came to know that their husband passed away! Phew!!!!!

Gayatri, 2006 – Independent girl doing an MBA in Australia, attends b-school during the day, drives a cab & works at the departmental store at night. Believes in love but does not believe in marriage because of the trappings that come with it. She feels that after marriage the guy will try to control her life to some extent, not let her do things she wants to do...whereas she wants to live her life the way she wants to!

The problem is...Deepika Padukone can’t act. She has a pretty face so the camera tends to linger on her face, and this highlights her lack of expressions.

There are flaws in her character too. She dumps Ranbir Kapoor, then slides “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how much I loved you” notes under his door for 6 months. Without any response, of course. Any woman with even half a brain would get the hint...the guy is either not getting your letters (i.e., he’s not in town) or he’s ignoring them. Either way, STOP WRITING!!!

As for Ranbir Kapoor’s chemistry with Deepika Padukone...no great shakes. Bipasha Basu looks much better with him.

The movie is boring, ridden with flaws, there’s no story whatsoever & the songs are completely unnecessary. Khuda Jaane is the only decent song in the entire movie.

The movie is unbelievable too! Check this out...after Deepika dumps Ranbir, he realizes how he’s hurt the other two ladies in his life (Minnisha & Bipasha) who he had dated 12 years ago & 6 years ago respectively. He packs his bags & goes in search of them to apologize to them. Which guy in today’s times goes to apologize to a woman he had wronged 12 years ago??!!! Come on man, where are these guys? Show me one & I’ll show you a guy who is misplaced in time & out of his mind!!